By: Linda Grabeman
I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve here, so treat it kindly, please.
After inviting all who wanted to join our blog conversation a few weeks ago, I pressed the button to send out our weekly email blast. It was my turn to write the blog. Unfortunately, I pressed something incorrectly (who knows what!) and because of that, it appeared that no one was reading the email.
Not. One. Person.
I pushed the refresh button a ridiculous number of times, each a little more forcefully than the last time. I texted Chloe at college. No response.
So, I called, in tears. You see, Chloe and I are pros at confessing to each other all the things we should have done, could have done, or sadly, have done poorly.
We are our own harshest critics, but we are also each other’s biggest encouragers. When one of us degrades herself, the other lifts, cheers, and applauds. We are not only mother and daughter, we are best friends, speaking Jesus-words to each other when we need them.
As we chatted, we were sure of two things:
- I’m computer-challenged.
- THE BEAST had reared its ugly head again.
Oh, you know this two-faced beast as well as I do —
the ugly stepsisters of Identity and Insecurity. Each as monstrous as the other.
On a normal day, my identity is quite secure. I’m a dearly beloved daughter of Christ.
But not during this crisis.
Suddenly, I am spinning helplessly in the wash cycle of comparison and competition, questioning my identity and what defines me. Caught in that centrifugal spin, gasping for air, I’m wrung hard and hung up wet. I desperately want to get out and find a quiet closet to be folded and stored. Out of circulation.
But I know it’s soul-searching time. I need to realize what threw me in the wash: listening to the wrong voice! I heard only the demeaning, discouraging and meanspirited voice, not the voice of my Lord. The Accuser was doing what he does best – screaming in my ear.
The problem at the core was far more serious than my social media mess-up or my ineptitude at the computer. Satan, the Opportunist, was the primary problem. He saw a perfect chance to emotionally scrub, tumble and totally get me off-kilter and he took it. The goal: derail my blog, which was pointing to Jesus.
I needed to repeat to myself what I regularly say to my children, “Consider the Source…whose Voice are you hearing?”
Either we listen to Truth or we fall for lies — comparing ourselves to other “better” Christians; counting “Likes”, or letting numbers
define or determine our value. When we listen and look to
the Lord and His Word, we can embrace our identity in Him with abandon. It’s absolute freedom.
Crisis now over. Wash cycle finished. Spin cycle of confusion slowing to a halt.
Grace won the day.
Again.
Hope this story helps you.
Love,
Linda
Bunny says
That was beautiful, Linda. Comparison and competition are 2 sisters that Satan uses to get me feeling “less than”, especially in the real estate business when good friends choose someone else to work with instead of me. Just like the “last picked” blog that you wrote recently it goes away when we realize whose we are and that in Him we are PERFECT!
May the Lord God bless your day mightily and thank you for “baring your soul. With 💕
Linda Grabeman says
Thank you so much for your encouragement, Bunny. Yes, we all have those triggers to make us feel “less than”. We just need to know where to go with them, and who to listen to.
Love you dearly, my friend,
Linda
Sue McGray says
Linda,
Awesome! I think we all have those feelings. Thank you for sharing so beautifuly.
Sue McGray
Linda Grabeman says
Thank you for your encouragement, sweet Sue. You are the perpetual encourager and how you bless Chloe and I!
Katie Hamilton says
Thank you dearest friend! I was bounced around this week in the “bulky heavy “cycle. The spin was extraordinarily fast AND long Last night I was hung out to dry on a windy and cold springtime evening. I was hurting; limp, shapeless and more than a bit wrinkled. Today I saw & read your blog, listened to your words and felt the light, life and warmth of Jesus return to my soul…..I may still be hanging out there, but I am drying out in the sun …fresh , clean and ready to go!! Thank you…and I’ve already just received a call about a friend who is undergoing emergency surgery even just now…with a compromised heart…when will it end? If the IT is God’s mercy and grace, the answer is NEVER! I love that cycle!
Linda Grabeman says
Those wash cycles are so hard, but Jesus pours out His grace every time. What a Savior we have! So blessed to walk this road alongside you, my precious friend and see that His track record in both our lives has been proven time and time again. 😘
Marie Lindgren says
Linda, this was me this week too! No one on my FB lives, my videos appeared blurry, no sales. I felt less-than, incompetent, a failure. I so needed these words. I love you so, my dear friend.
I just have to listen to the One who loves me. Why do I forget to do that!
Marie
Linda Grabeman says
My eyes filled with tears when I read this! We all have those terrible days, but I’m so sorry you were caught in that awful downward spin. What would we do without a Lord who whispers His love and acceptance…regardless? I love you, precious friend. Let’s plan a get-together at one of our houses. <3
cindy jolly says
Oh my goodness, Linda. I think those must be my legs sticking out of the washer! When am I going to stop falling into the “sin of measurement” and live in freedom from asking numbers to define me? Thank you for your words of truth and grace today. Crisis over!
Linda Grabeman says
We’re human and we get caught up on the ways of the world when we are weary or tired. Praise Jesus, He reminds us each time that we are precious for who we are, not what we do. Love you dearly!
Kimberly says
Beautiful writing, Linda.
Linda Grabeman says
Thank you so much, Kimberly! That really means a lot coming from you! I’m thrilled that you are reading our blog. <3
Gwen Gobble says
Although I’m sorry for your problem, I loved the way you shared the outcome. It lifted my heart and added joy to my day.
Linda Grabeman says
I’m so happy to hear from you, Gwen! Thank you for your encouragement! You’ve always been good at that! Much love from all of us.
Charlotte Moulton says
Linda, this blog spoke to me personally because it is a battle I’ve fought most of my life. At my age, you drop so many worries that you carried growing up, but Satan still attacks from any angle he can use. I once read that Satan’s greatest weapon is “discouragement”. It’s funny. I have always loved and admired your inner & outer beauty, from time to time thinking, “How does a child of Jesus stand firm in their faith as Linda?” Well, it’s not my fault but you just knocked yourself off that pedestal I put you on, knowing full well no one is ever “walking as Christ did on this earth”. This chance encounter with the “great discourager” is but a blessing to us all. May the hand of Jesus touch you in a great way so that you continue with “the truth of his word”. I love you dearly, Charlotte
Linda Grabeman says
Charlotte, I’m thrilled that this touched you deeply. There is such power in being real and vulnerable. I love you dearly, my friend. We’ll battle that Great Discourage together with the Word of God and His amazing Grace for us.
Kay Wadman says
Linda, we r reading your blog. Jesus wins! His words come through beautifully! 💖
Linda Grabeman says
Isn’t that the truth!!! He always gets the last word!!! How awesome is that?! Love you! ♥️